halcyonharlot:

pastapunk:

So I just found out that to be an astronaut you can’t be under 5’2” and this is BULLSHIT I never wanted to be an astronaut until I found out I couldn’t and now I feel like a dream has been crushed fuck you NASA

i don’t want to live in a world where we can’t launch danny devito into space

gentlemanbones:

THERE’S BEEN A TERRIBLE ACCIDENT

thesylverlining:

babebraham:

today at the bookstore i asked the lady working if she had any lgbtq books that i could check out and her eyes magnified in what i mistook as horror and i thought i had offended her and then she said “i have a bag of lesbian fiction in the basement i’ve been waiting for someone to finally ask” and she all but burst down the stairs to get them for me

bless

"I have a bag of lesbian fiction in the basement" is my new go-to pickup line

breakinglestrade:

"You used to ride me like that" :(

guy:

*seductively rubs laptop screen to get rid of speck of dirt*

coolandchill98:

I Love My Friends. Pizza. Hate this Town. Who Wants to Fuck this Skatebord